The Release.

Second post in 1 day, the end of the world must be coming. But i felt like writing though i have no idea exactly what i am about to type. Maybe ill just make random topic, but leaning towards Life from the way i see it. Maybe about how almost everyone of us dont know what we are doing most of the time, and how everything seems so massive and huge and complicated its a wonder how any of us are gonna fit into this whole scheme of things.

But hey im just thinking outloud, so forgive me if this gets weird.

Earth, ah yes earth...i never get tired looking up at the sky especially if its a clear night, somehow seeing all those stars, i mean its infinate, space just goes on forever and ever and ever and ever...and to realise we are just this really tiny planet, I mean i could be born a blob on some planet called Kikilala and the chances of that happening would have been higher then being born this planet. In this particular age, where fastfood exist, the internet (porn, har har), and tech that are amazing and fantastic that are invented everyday.

I mean that has got to make life itself worth living, but sometimes i forget...which might explain why im posting so i can remind myself more anything. I have to remind myself that i can do and be anything i wanted, that this life i have is the only one i have...for like.....ever, this is it. And i have to enjoy every second of it, i love making people laugh, i love watching all my cousins and the rest of the family couped up at our grandparents place with the yelling and screaming, i love being in love with a girl who understands me and loved me for who i was and the shitty baggage that comes with it, i love sitting on top of the roof sometimes and watch the stars and listening to my almost dieng Mp3, i love watching people from 2 different races and culture together, i love that god damn song in discovery where everyone sings their favourite routine, i love being around my friends, i love travelling, meeting different people and breathing in a different kind of air, i love sitting next to the window on the plane and watching the clouds and the city lights, i love my moms cooking, i love watching how my parents are with each other and how after all these years they are still very much in love, i love my nieces and nephews and i should spend more time with them. (ill spare you the others)

Life is just so short to waste it on being depressed or angry or sad...but of course shit happens to make us feel the way we do, and sometimes its so bad you just cant seem to shake the feeling off and so it just screws itself deeper inside you. But at times like these its the things you love and the people you love that help you get through it, even better when you have someone you truely love and respect to go through with it as well. I have so many regrets, stupid small mistakes that leads to another that leads to another ( you get the idea) and i know i screwed up bad, like real bad..and just because i want to fix it really bad doesnt mean its going to happen.

It didnt matter that some old guy that lay dieng in some hospital bed regretted everything he did, how he wished he could say he was sorry to his son, or wish he didnt act the way he did that caused his wife to leave him, it was too late. And no amount of wanting or trying would change that.(Note i said his gonna die any second so no he cant call his son in time)

So in a way you can redeem yourself but dont always trust that oppertunity to come knocking, not everyone you hurt will forgive you, not every stupid mistake you do just goes away. So what do you do? I think you need to forgive myself first, to stop hitting yourself for messing up, no one is perfect...you will always, and i mean always mess some major shit up but thats what life is all about isnt it? Giving you crap so you learn from it. Somehow this is straying hahah, but i think you get where i am going at here. (i hope)

Ok at this point my mind draws a blank, and im really tired. -yawn-
i might continue, then again maybe not. Good nite ~